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Browsing Tags France

Excuse My French!

June 21, 2012 · by Nikki

I love this phrase. I use it liberally as an excuse to swear. I find it especially effective when talking to my mother who, in the not-so-distant past, used to “speak loudly” (yell) to (at) me using my entire name (you know–in that way that only Moms can) for merely mentioning the word “crap” (don’t worry, Mom, I know you’re supposed to do that 🙂 ). I suppose perhaps part of why her disdain for my linguistic shortcomings has subsided over the years stems from the fact that  now I’m an adult (or so they say), so swearing has become slightly more acceptable. Even still, I find that a well-placed “excuse my French” after the choice words I had reserved to describe, say, the French postal service, for example, seems to lessen the blow that a vulgarity can deliver.

Not too long ago, I was talking to Frog Prince about some issue or another and a swear accidentally tumbled across my lips. I immediately followed the surprising slip-up with “excuse my French,” which garnered quite the confused look from him. I tried to explain to him what this term means, and how it’s used. The conversation went something like this:

“Well, when a person swears but they don’t want to offend someone, they might say ‘excuse my French,’ or sometimes it’s ‘pardon my French.'”

“Why? S#*% isn’t a French word.”

“Umm… (calling on my skills of balderdash) I think it’s because a long time ago, people thought swears sounded like French words. Or something.”

“???????”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll look it up.”

After doing some research on the web, I came across a possible explanation of the origin of the term (though no official citation is included so I’m not sure about the credibility of this account):

In the 19th century, when English people used French expressions in conversation they often apologised for it – presumably because many of their listeners (then as now) wouldn’t be familiar with the language.[1]

If you think about it, this technically makes my initial attempt at an explanation for the term somewhat correct. People apologized for French expressions, so at some point someone started apologizing for a swear, either thinking it was French or trying to pass it off as such. Either way, I’ll chalk this up as a minor victory. (Side note – can you imagine what the term “excuse my English” might be apologizing for?)

But the funniest part of this little phrase doesn’t come from it’s origin or common use by English speakers. The hilarity, for me, now comes from it’s new use in my life here in France. These days, “excuse my French” is a good way to apologize for the fact that my French still sucks. Go figure. 🙂

Guess I’m not the only one using the phrase this way…
copyright: BBC

“Excuse my French.”1 The Phrase Finder. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/130800.html (11 April, 2012)

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Finding France

May 29, 2012 · by Nikki

So here it is, again: my monthly contribution to MyFrenchLife. Pictures, cool little facts, the whole shebang. Read it here.

Merci!

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One Year Later: An Honest Recap of my Time in Paris So Far

May 22, 2012 · by Nikki

Saturday, May 19th marked the one year anniversary of my arrival in Paris and of becoming an expat. It has taken me two full days to recover from the celebrations to be able to write something about it.

At the six-month mark, I wrote a little check-up post, outlining the things I had accomplished and the things I still wanted to. I thought about writing this post in a similar format and addressing all of my “wish list” items from six months ago to see how far I’ve come. I may still do that, but for now, I wanted to write something a little more honest and authentic about what it has really been like for me to be an American living in Paris.

First, I want to emphasize that this past year has been one of the best years of my life. I’m having a great time, meeting wonderful new people everywhere I go, gaining a ton of valuable work experience at my job, and expanding my sense of independence and adventure. I wouldn’t trade this year for anything, and I realize I’m very fortunate to have this opportunity. Living and working abroad has always been a dream of mine, and I’m lucky to be in the category of people who gets to say they are really living out one of their dreams.

You’ve seen this one before… some of the friends I’ve met during this past year!

That being said, there is a down side to living in a country where I’m still (slowly) learning the language. I’ve written enough posts about my struggles with French–some funny, some expressing frustration–so I’m sure those who follow my blog closely enough realize, to some extent, the role that the element of language plays in my life. But over the last few weeks, I have really started to struggle with something: my identity as a non-French speaker (yet!) in this country.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you’re in a group of familiar faces, everyone having a good time, and no one can hear you? The dream starts out fine–you know the people you’re with and you know you’re about to have fun with them. When you realize no one can hear or understand or see you, you become confused, and maybe panic even starts to set in. And then, after several desperate attempts to be heard, the only thing left to feel is frustration. This cycle is my life.

Despite this dream being the perfect analogy of what I often experience here (being in a group of friends speaking to each other in a language I can understand but cannot express myself in), not being heard in a group isn’t the issue that’s been weighing me down lately.

What a lot of people don’t understand, is that even though I’m lucky enough to have such friendly and kind people speaking to me in my language while I’m in their country, is that I often have to change everything about the way I communicate: my vocabulary, my body language, my accent, the subjects we talk about… in order to be understood.Although I’m doing what I can to learn French while working full time (in English), I can still only converse on the level of a five-year-old. It took me months to figure out why I haven’t been feeling like myself in this country, and then it hit me: I am NOT myself here. Nor can I be, until I can fully express myself in French.

Maybe the closest I’ve felt to myself in Paris: watching the Patriots, at a Canadian bar, with my Dad 🙂

On the day of my six-month anniversary in Paris, I left for a trip to the US. On that trip, I had the strangest feeling. Of course I missed my friends and family and was happy to see them all, but it was more than that. Recently I realized what the “more” was. It was relief. Relief because I could once again be the outgoing, sometimes funny, always quirky, opinionated, non-wall flower that I’ve been for most of my adult life. When I read that sentence back, those adjectives do not resonate with the person that I am here in Paris. I have been reduced to a shy, insecure, quiet, easily-intimidated young woman who needs assistance to do a lot of things. Sometimes, I literally feel like another person has taken over my body and the “real me” is forced to sit in silence and watch the whole thing play out.

I know a lot of people who have lived abroad and who have struggled as they adjust to cultural and language differences. But most of the people I know who have embarked on a similar journey have had one important difference: they didn’t do it alone. They either moved with friends, classmates, a significant other, family, or at least knew someone well enough in the new country that they could count on. This is not to say that none of those people faced the challenges I have. On the contrary, I’m sure they did, and I know I’m not alone in feeling like I am another person while in a different country. And I definitely have people I can count on now. But the people who really know me well are a 6 hour plane ride away at best.

Some of the people that know me best! ❤

At the end of the day, all I can do is try to be as close to the “real me” as possible, and hope that the more I learn French, the more my true personality will come out. Then my next concern will be if all of the French friends I’ve made will still be able to stand me at that point 😉 I’m not homesick, and I have no intentions of leaving France anytime soon (sorry Frenchies!), but it’s good to reflect on the challenges you face every now and then. If you don’t recognize why you struggle, how can you know where to concentrate your efforts?

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Death by Sticky Note!

April 4, 2012 · by Nikki

Since the dawn of time, it seems there has always been war. People have amassed to fight over differences in religion, power, money, class, nationality, borders and a slew of other causes. But over the last year or so a new cause has stirred the embers of battle: Post-it prestige.

In Paris, video game developer Ubisoft and their neighbors BNP Paribas (a French bank you may have heard about in economic news as of late) fought for the right to call themselves the Masters of Post-it Art. It all started when, in May of last year, an Ubisoft employee casually decorated her window space using post-its to create a scene from the famous video game Space Invadors. A few other employees followed suit, and other video game personas emerged on glass. Shortly after, neighboring BNP took notice and crafted their own post-it pictures, prompting an all-out war to outdo each other using armaments of creativity and paper.

Here’s a collection of some of the earlier weapons of mass construction:

Post-it Ryu: He's got a few tricks up... where his sleeves would be

One fireball from Bowser could take out the whole army

You might recognize a few of these guys...

BNP Fires back with the Pac

Though several episodes of Post-it violence broke out across Paris, Ubisoft definitely won their battle with BNP when they used their most deadly weapon: an assassin. Here are some images of the team at Ubisoft creating a three-story likeness of Ezio Auditore, a lead character in the game series Assassin’s Creed, and the finished product:

The team at Ubisoft Paris working on their final design

Putting the pieces together

The crowd gathers to watch the masterpiece unfold

Ezio, the Assassin, himself: not very stealth

Like many wars, this one continues to spread. London offices were under stationary siege last fall, and rumor has it that companies in New York and Seattle have also fallen victim to this new form of inter-office terrorism. There’s even an official website dedicated to tracking and capturing the latest (and seriously awesome) developments in this conflict: Post-it War. So arm yourself with Post-its, and prepare to fight!

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Fear Factor, French Style

February 1, 2012 · by Nikki

You know that show where people do absolutely terrifying things in the hopes of winning money? Well if I was a contestant, the method of torturing me wouldn’t involve sticking my hand in a nest of angry bees, eating a tarantula or walking a tight-rope from one very high point to another (though I’ll happily say “no thanks!” if offered the chance to willingly do any of those things). All the producers of the show would have to do is plop me down in the middle of a crowded area filled with French people that I know and say, “…aaaaand: SPEAK FRENCH!”

My version of Fear Factor

It’s true. I suffer daily from what I not-so-lovingly call Glossofrancofamiliophobia–similar in root to “glossophobia,” which is a fear of public speaking, but with a specific reference to speaking French, and speaking it to people I know.

It’s almost entertaining, really. I can run to the boulangerie and order some bread or a tasty pastry, grab some lunch to go from some local dining establishment, or even catch a ride home in a cab and everything turns out fine. But take me out to dinner with a group of friends–or worse, my French boyfriend–and that’s when the trouble starts. My pulse quickens, my face explores the warmer shades of the rainbow, my brow starts to sweat, and suddenly it’s as if I’ve never studied a word of French in my life.

I freeze.

I get stuck.

I shut the hell up (and trust me, you know there’s a problem when my mouth stops moving).

Sadly, there are no commercials with animated figures who go from sad to happy in a matter of seconds thanks to a miracle pill for this condition. There are no therapists specialized in this field, nor are there rehabilitation centers that can get me on my feet. No, my friends, this phobia is one that has to be tackled alone. And hard.

No doubt the root of this issue lies in confidence, and I make small steps every day to boost mine. Frog Prince helps a lot. He doesn’t laugh at me or make me feel bad when I try and say the basic sentences I have the nerve to muster. But I just can’t shake the idea that the people I’ve come to like and respect will stop reciprocating those feelings once they hear my sorry excuse for French. Unrealistic? Probably. Terrifying? Absolutely.

So, fellow expats, francophones, and bi-linguists: please do feel free to share how you may have gotten over any of your personal barriers to speaking another language. In the meantime, I’ll be on the lookout for a life raft to save me from succumbing to the 20,000 leagues of lexicon I seem to be sinking in (or getting eaten by un requin français).

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An American (Football Fan) In Paris

January 17, 2012 · by Nikki

In one of my earlier posts, A New England Sports Fan Abroad, I wrote about what it was like to miss championship games because of my international antics. But after several Sundays spent at The Great Canadian–a Canadian bar (surprise!) that airs NFL games here in Paris–I can, thankfully, write about what it’s like to watch a game abroad.

One of the first things I thought about when I decided to accept the offer to work for my current company and make the move to Paris was how I would be able to watch my beloved New England Patriots every Sunday. When I lived in the States, I made a point to go to at least one home game every season (last year I upped it to two, in light of my imminent departure), and if I wasn’t at Gillette I was surely glued to a TV somewhere. I’ve definitely had to miss my fair share of games, though, and that wasn’t an occurrence I wished to become a regularity.

The 2011 season, however, was a whole different ball game–pun intended. Not only have I been traveling more (admittedly both for business and for pleasure), but I am of course living in a country where American football isn’t exactly the most popular sport around. If you ask the locals if they’re into football you’ll likely hear a resounding yes, but they’re certainly not talking about tossing the ol’ pigskin. And as if there weren’t enough obstacles to watching a sport in a country that predominantly couldn’t care less about it, I also have to deal with the six to nine hour time difference for watching games taking place in the US–arguably the most difficult element to work around.

Fortunately for me, I was referred to TGC by a fellow American expat and blogger, Michael (you can check out his blog here), and his recommendation couldn’t have been better. Not only have I been able to watch several games during the regular season, but this past weekend I was able to watch the game that turned out to be our first playoff victory since January 20, 2008. This is particularly amazing considering that the game began at a staggering  2am Paris time Saturday night/Sunday morning. Thankfully, TGC came through and stayed open for the entire game, not-so-gently kicking us out at 5:30am. I was able to catch this crucial match-up, share drinks with friends, and make it home on the metro just before the sun came up.

Just for fun, here are some pictures of myself and some friends during the course of the season at our favorite American football hangout:

The gang, dedicated and pulling an almost-all-nighter for our team!
Me on Christmas Eve cheering for the Patriots to pull ahead of the Dophins!
First Patriots game at TGC!

With Esteve/Paul/Alfonso and the Frog Prince!
With beautiful Melissa on my very first trip to TGC to check it out 🙂

It’s been a great season so far, but I’m looking forward to what comes next as the Patriots compete against Baltimore for the AFC Championship title! And thank you, TGC, for giving me a little piece of home every Sunday. Now for next week: Let’s kick some Baltimore butt, boys!

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I’m a Writer!

January 2, 2012 · by Nikki

Okay, not really. BUT – I did get asked to contribute to an ezine called MyFrenchLife. I said yes and my first article was recently published. You can read it here.

I’ll be writing at least one article a month, and I’ll be sure to link to my writing on MyFrenchLife over here. You know, because you are all DYING to read more of my writing. 😉

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I’ve Got Friends (That Were Once) In Low Places…

November 10, 2011 · by Nikki

Last night I attended a soiree organized by an online magazine dedicated to building a community of people who have some connection to France/the French in their lives (more to come on this in a future post).

In addition to meeting some really cool Australians, Americans and French people who are currently living in Paris, I got something really amazing out of this little shindig: Encouragement.

About to reach the six-month-mark of living here in Paris and still having only basic (though improving!) French, I often get down on myself for not having made more progress. I even wrote about it, here. And although I would argue that, among all the places in France to live, Paris is the easiest place to get by if you have only an elementary understanding of French, I expected more from myself on the language front by now.

When I arrived at last night’s event, I was unsure if I’d even be able to communicate with anyone, and was nervous that people would look down their noses at me for being a French resident who still speaks almost entirely in English. But on the contrary, I was met with a barrage of understanding and motivation! A lot of these people had come to France with little to no French training, and are now either speaking fluently or enough to communicate well in nearly every situation. And the kicker? It took them all about a year-and-a-half to get there.

“Six months?!” One woman said. “You’ve got to give yourself more time. There’s no way you could expect to be speaking a lot of French in only six months.”

“At around six months I thought I was speaking great French because I didn’t know it well enough to know the mistakes I was making. At one year I actually was more frustrated because I could hear my mistakes. Eventually you just have to stop caring and stop feeling embarrassed and it gets easier.”

I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of determination to tackle this language, and I’m grateful for the words of wisdom these fellow expats were able to share. Finding out that I’m not failing as hard as I thought I was: not a bad way to spend a Wednesday evening, eh? 🙂

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That’s So American

October 11, 2011 · by Nikki

Here it is, the moment all of you (Americans) have been waiting for: the follow up to my Fact & Fiction about the French post! Or in other words, a giant list of sometimes funny, sometimes surprising stereotypes that the French have about Americans.

  1. Americans are friendly
  2. Americans are fat
  3. Americans always have a coffee or tea in their hand (and only drink Starbucks)
  4. Americans eat the same foods over and over
  5. Americans are loud
  6. American girls are easy (putting it lightly)
  7. Americans are good in business (see what I said about surprising? Clearly no one is paying attention to the economy in the US)
  8. Americans eat all the time (some of them have developed this stereotype by being around me…)
  9. Americans alone are great company, but in a group they are obnoxious
  10. Americans eat a lot of hamburgers/cheeseburgers
  11. Americans are ignorant (i.e. they don’t know what’s going on in the rest of the world)
  12. Americans only drive big cars/SUVs
  13. Americans cannot drive manual transmission vehicles
  14. Americans are generally unhealthy, and take a pill for everything
  15. American men always wear t-shirts under a button-up (very atypical of European style)
  16. A lot of Americans have guns

Try to take these with a grain of salt, if you can. The thing I find interesting is not what the French think of Americans, but why. Maybe it’s from movies, television shows, or the news. Or maybe it’s what they’ve learned from personal encounters with Americans. In any case, not all of these are true, but some of them are – at least some of the time. And there’s a good chance I’ll continue to add to this list as I hear more “Americans are …” statements.

And maybe the next time you hear someone say “All French people all smoke cigarettes,” you can be reminded of the time you heard that the French think Americans always eat the same foods, and you can laugh and know that it’s probably not quite like that… 🙂

Ciao!

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Fact & Fiction about the French

September 15, 2011 · by Nikki

As I was preparing for the big move to Paris earlier this year, I received countless “words of wisdom” (read: warnings) about French people and their culture. Now that I’ve been here a while, I have a pretty good understanding of which French stereotypes hold true, and which have more holes than that piece of Swiss cheese you just ate, which probably came from Ohio. It’s time to set the record straight.

Stereotype: The French Hate Americans

FICTION

First of all: this may have been true in other eras (I’ve had more than one conversation about the opinions of America during GW’s glorious reign), but my personal experience has yielded very positive encounters with anyone who learns of my nationality. Second of all: It’s important to remember that a) just a short time ago, Americans called French fries Freedom fries, French toast Freedom toast, and so on, in an attempt to vocalize distaste over France’s choice not to join us in (a stupid/pointless/unnecessary) war with Iraq, and b) much of the previous negativity directed at Americans comes from us living with a set of our own stereotypes that the rest of the world has created. So I can confidently say that the French have been très tolérant of Americans given the treatment we’ve shown them throughout the course of our co-existence following American independence (which, by the way, America would not have had without French support).

Stereotype: Pretty Much No One In France Is Fat

FACT

The rumors are true: The French consume more wine, cheese, bread, pasta or pastries than most Americans I know, and yet they are all thin. Most that I know personally exercise very little. What’s the secret? PORTIONS. The French have this very impressive way of consuming food and drinks more slowly, appreciating each sip or bite, allowing themselves to really taste what they’re putting into their bodies. When this happens, they don’t eat as much because they feel satisfied. The difference between “full” and “satisfied” could be a few dress sizes.

Plus food here is much more simple. Less chemicals. Little to no hormones. Fresh. It’s wonderful 🙂

Stereotype: The French Are Rude/Arrogant

FICTION

They don’t smile at you if they don’t know you. They are very direct when they do (i.e. “Yes, you look bad in that dress” type of direct). Despite these differences in communication, I find French people to be warm, friendly, inviting, and some of the most helpful I’ve encountered. All I can say is that I can’t imagine getting as much help as I did when I moved here if I were a foreigner moving to the United States.  So does this make the French rude, or are Americans just sensitive?

Stereotype: Everyone in France Smokes Like a Chimney

HALF FACT, HALF FICTION

Not everyone in France smokes. In fact, most people I know do not. However most of the ones that do smoke A LOT.

Stereotype: French Guys Are Feminine

FICTION

They care about how they look. They dress better than I do. Their shoes are more expensive than mine. They wear scarves in the summer. They think flowers are beautiful. And shopping with one of them is the equivalent to shopping with a hoard of fashionable girlfriends. And they do it all while still exuding a serious amount of manliness.

What makes them not feminine is the fact that they don’t care if you think they are manly or not (among other things). Somehow the lack of excessive assertions of masculinity serves as a pretty good indicator of masculinity. Who knew?

Stereotype: French Tempers Flair More Than Hairstyles in the 70s

FACT

It’s happened to me more than once that I’ll be in the middle of a conversation with someone and suddenly voices are raised and faces are red. Most of the time I didn’t even see it coming. And these aren’t just political or religious conversations. I’m talking “what kinds of flowers should you plant in a garden” kinds of conversations. But there are just as many reasons to love the passionate French as there are to fear them, and the storm passes just as quickly as it strikes. Like the old adage about weather in the month of March: their tempers come in like a lion and go out like a lamb.

Stereotype: French Women Don’t Shave

FICTION

Fortunately.

Stereotype: The French Are Very Sexual

FACT

Of course I am from “puritan America” where sex is largely censored in the media, sex education in schools  is still extremely controversial, and nudity on most beaches is illegal, so my views are inherently biased. But I have never heard people talk so openly about their (very active) sex lives before. Sex is on TV, sex is in the movies, sex happens. Here, it’s just part of life and not some taboo topic you can only discuss with girlfriends or after too many glasses of wine.

Stereotype: The French Hate Anyone Who Doesn’t Speak French

FICTION

This statement couldn’t be further from the truth. English is taught in schools starting at a young age, and a lot of people I’ve met are happy to practice their English with a native speaker. What they do hate is when they are approached in their own country and spoken to only in English, with the offender thereby making the assumption that a person can and does speak English. I don’t think this is such a hard concept to grasp, actually… can you recall a time when you’ve been somewhere in America and someone starts trying to talk to you only in Spanish, Chinese or some other foreign language? Your reaction was probably “Come on, we’re in America!”

However, if you make even the smallest attempt to speak French, the effort is typically well-received  and often the conversation turns to English quite easily and with no ill-will.

So there you have it. Maybe I’ll write a future post on some of the stereotypes the French have of Americans and share them. Some might be true, others might only be good for a laugh, but in the end it’s the exploration of each other’s cultures that’s really insightful.

Ciao!

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